De-escalation Training and Personal Safety

Introduction to De-Escalation   

Webinar Format. Customized to clients needs                                                 

Duration: 2 hours

The goal of this  training is to give attendees and introduction to non-escalation and de-escalation, with an eye towards skills and strategies to try and head off a potential problem at the pass, and if need be, to bring the angry or upset party back to a baseline, for everyone’s safety.

The webinar is not a substitute for comprehensive training in either area, but rather, a foundation from which to work, and avoid common pitfalls, despite all good intentions. Given the emphasis that is placed leveraging innate skills, this program increases the confidence of attendees.

These include, but are not limited to, interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence,  trusting instincts, recognition of context clues, body language and affect.

Overview:

“My primary goal for de-escalating this person is for my personal safety,” is emphasized throughout the program.

“Problem solving is not necessarily my goal. My safety is my goal. Problem solving can happen later or another day,” is reinforced throughout the program.

“If I can just leave, I will leave.” How might this look and sound, so as to preserve the dignity of the angry person and not escalate the situation.

“The Golden Rules” are imparted, to include:

We are only de-escalating someone if we are unable to leave – for instance, if the angry person “owns the door” of the room we are in.

Personal space. Angry people require more personal space than they would when calm.

“Mirroring” and my body language. What effect may this have on the angry person?

A more gentle body presentation. “Blading” off very slightly is seen as respectful, and not submissive, and avoids what can be seen as “squaring up.”

Where are my hands and why? Where are their hands?

Soft, conversational eye contact.

Avoid that “caring touch” on the shoulder. What works at the doctor’s office does not work with angry people.

Use of structure. Is there something between us already, like a table to create distance?

Awareness of weapons of opportunity.

Never say, “Calm down.” Never say, “Just relax.” The right idea but wrong wording. Mistakes we make despite all good intentions. What does the correct “framing” sound like?

Voice tone and cadence. How do they  “lower the temperature.”

Never, ever make a threat you cannot back up.

Will promising to fix the problem if they “calm down” help?

Never ask someone what is wrong with them, but rather what happened to them, AKA the trauma-informed approach.

Acknowledging and honoring that the person is upset. Open-ended questions as an invitation to speak.

Periodically paraphrasing and asking for accuracy and/ or clarification. What are the two key benefits of doing this besides active listening and sincerity?

Engaging with sincerity. If you are just going through the motions, that will be recognized and escalate the situation every time!

The goal is to have the angry person see you as an ally, a conduit to a solution, and a friendly ear, versus the punching bag for their anger.

Other elements that could be helpful. Weaving in gentle reminders of what a person has in a positive manner. An angry person may forget how much they have to lose, and when reminded, their innate inhibitors to aggression or violence  tend to return.

Recognition of when de-escalation is NOT working and I cannot just leave!

Body language and the “thousand yard stare” and physiologic changes to look for.

Rapid eye movement and body scanning. Why is this happening and what could it portend?

Use of structure to keep between us. My protective “shields” of opportunity.

When de-escalation will not work

• Language barriers
• Intoxication
• Obvious mental health challenges

With the above three, we are only left with one language by which to communicate: our body

language. Some tips on maintaining relaxed, respectful body language and presentation.

Group dynamics: I am with two co-workers and we need to de-escalate someone. How does

this work?

-One of the greatest gifts we can give to somebody is honoring and respecting their dignity-